The Most Valuable Professional Development We Didn't Expect

As leaders, we're always looking for ways to help our teams grow.

We invest in conferences, webinars, software training, compliance updates, and technical development. Those investments matter. They sharpen skills, improve processes, and help organizations operate more effectively.

Yet one of the most valuable professional development experiences our business office team shared didn't involve learning a new accounting standard or mastering another software platform.

It began with a book.

I asked our business office team to read Emotional Intelligence 2.0 together - not as an assignment, but as an opportunity to better understand ourselves and one another. Each team member completed the emotional intelligence assessment that accompanies the book, providing a snapshot of our natural tendencies and identifying areas where we each had opportunities to grow.

What followed over the next several months surprised me.

The real value wasn't found in the chapters we read. It was found in the conversations we had.

Week after week, we gathered to discuss what we were learning, where we struggled, and how our individual tendencies showed up in the workplace. Those conversations required something that doesn't always come naturally in finance and operations: vulnerability.

People shared frustrations. They admitted blind spots. They talked honestly about situations they wished they had handled differently.

Rather than judging one another, we began understanding one another.

The person who seemed quiet wasn't disengaged - they simply needed time to process. The teammate who asked countless questions wasn't challenging decisions - they just wanted clarity. The colleague who appeared direct wasn't trying to be insensitive - they were simply focused on solving problems.

As we learned to interpret one another's behaviors with greater empathy, our day-to-day interactions became more productive and, just as importantly, more trusting.

The Second Time Was Even Better

About a year later, we decided to read the book again. Some members of the team had participated the first time, while others were joining the discussion for the first time. I expected the second experience to reinforce what we had already learned. Instead, it revealed something even more meaningful.

Those who had read the book before weren't simply rereading familiar material. They were reflecting on a year's worth of real experiences. We recalled challenging conversations, stressful deadlines, difficult decisions, and opportunities to intentionally apply what was learned.

The lessons had changed because we had changed.

Our first reading taught us about emotional intelligence, but the second reading showed us what practicing emotional intelligence looked like. What had once been interesting concepts had become lived experiences.

The discussions became richer because people could point to specific moments when greater self-awareness had changed the outcome of a conversation, or when better self-management had prevented a situation from escalating.

For our new team members, the conversations provided an immediate window into our culture. For returning participants, they became evidence that growth is never finished.

Emotional Intelligence Is a Practice

One lesson became increasingly clear: emotional intelligence isn't something we master after reading a book. It's something we practice every day.

We all have moments when stress gets the better of us. We all misread situations. We all respond emotionally before responding thoughtfully.

The assessment wasn't about labeling ourselves. It wasn't about putting people into categories or assigning strengths and weaknesses. It was about creating awareness - and awareness became the starting point for intentional growth.

Why This Matters in Schools

Independent schools are deeply relational organizations. Business offices work with faculty, parents, students, trustees, vendors, donors, and countless other stakeholders. Every interaction carries an emotional component, even when the conversation is about budgets, invoices, payroll, or facilities.

Technical expertise is essential, but emotional intelligence often determines whether those interactions strengthen relationships or create unnecessary friction.

When colleagues better understand themselves, they communicate more effectively. When they better understand one another, they collaborate more effectively. When leaders model vulnerability, they create an environment where trust can grow.

Looking Back

I don't remember everyone's assessment scores over the years, but I remember the conversations.

I remember watching teammates become more self-aware, more patient, and more willing to assume positive intent. I remember seeing difficult conversations become more productive because people understood not only what was being said, but why it was being said.

The spreadsheets, budgets, and operational plans were essential to our work. They kept us accountable and helped us fulfill our mission.

But investing in emotional intelligence strengthened something even more important. It strengthened the people doing the work.